Tight Fittin' Khakis

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If you read Rachel's blog below, she tells you all about the GREAT play that we went to see the other night. However, I am going to share a little bit of "Pre-Play" preparation.

The majority of attendees at these presentations get all dressed up just to sit in seat, in the dark, for the duration of the play when no one notices what they look like. So not being one to step out of the norm, I decided to follow suit in wearing a sophisticated cowboy look, inspired by Paul Maulsby, that consists of a white button-down shirt, dark brown khaki pants, and a pair of boots. Needless to say the only part of my wardrobe that did not malfunction was my boots.

It all started when I went to my house to get ready. Apparently the temperature that I thrive in, which is about 60-65 degrees, is far too cold for my other roommates. When I get back from being gone all day, my house has transitioned into Luke's Spa and Sauna. So on my way down the hall to my room I noticed that the thermostat is set on 76 degrees. Perfect! I begin to sweat and know that the possibility getting ready and looking somewhat fresh by the time that I get done is small at best. So I turn down the thermostat to sub-Artic temperatures and stomp off to my room.

After taking a shower and getting my hair just right I start to assemble the rest of my costume for the night. First I put on my shirt and notice that it is dangerously short. I would like to think that maybe I am growing taller, but I have a feeling that more of the fabric was being used in an outward expansion that my stomach has decided to take lately. Next it is time for the khakis. I just took them out of the dry cleaning bag and they were STARCHED to the extreme. I mean I could not have put my foot through the hole at the bottom without some effort. So one foot, the the other. About this time I feel a trickle of sweat heading down my forehead. Wonderful, the great migration of sweat droplets from my forehead down my face has begun. At this time I decide to take a break and sit on the edge of my bed in front the the multiple fans that I have in my room. I have 2 fans that stand alone and one ceiling fan, so when those babies get cranked up it could move a small country. Now that I have the sweating temporarily controlled it is time to finish getting those darn pants on.

I have already threaded my belt through the loops in preparation for the fight that was to in sue. In the normal upright manner that I normally button my pants I try to get the button through the hole on the opposite site. Well with all the force that I can muster I still have about 6 inches to go. Keep in mind that my range of movement is limited so that my shirt does not come untucked. Moving on to Plan B. Plan B is laying on the bed and sucking in, which is known to resolve the issue of tight pants. This reduces the distance from 6 inches to 4, an improvement, but not quite there. Onward to Plan C. This involves sitting on the end of my bed and leaning over the foot board on my bet to contort my body into an upside down v shape. Again still too much space between button and hole. Next, I try Plan D. This involves hooking my belt on the normal notch that I normally wear it. I think there is no way that these pants will not get buttoned now. WRONG! I have another 2 and 1/2 inches to go. With no Plan E, I think I am just going to throw in the towel and not go to this stupid play. Then it dawns on me! I will use my belt as a tourniquet to get myself in these khakis. So I pull like there is now tomorrow and exhale all air out of my body, thinking that at any time my hips are going to break and then I really be up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick! I have my belt as tight as I can get it and then grab the two flaps of my pants and pull the rest of the way. I finally get those pants buttoned but in the process I felt this explosion in my "area" and I think that I could have given myself a hernia just trying to get my pants buttoned.

I would like to say that I was in total shock that my pants were too tight, but at the Mid-South Fair Judging Contest I had to hide behind a dresser and go through the same steps, so my three other judging team members sharing a room with me would not notice this debacle!

So my pants are buttoned, shirt is tucked in, I slip into my boots and I am off. I made it! I think that after that I will be able to enjoy a night out as long as my button does not fly off and take off someone's eye. This paradise lasts until we get to Rudder Tower where the show is held. We go to get our tickets and realize that they are on the sixth floor! THE SIXTH FLOOR! And there is no elevator in eye sight and only flights of stairs. As if the Battle of Buttoned Pants was not enough now I had to haul myself to the top of the building, step by step. Thinking that when I get to the top I will be able to sit down and see a good show. I should just try to stop thinking that things will get better, because when I sit down I quickly noticed that I am somewhat hip-locked in the tiny seat. (See Picture to Left)

Finally the show begins and it was worth every busted blood vessel, gallon of sweat, and swear word that was released in the preparation process. Hope no one else can relate to this story but I thought that I would share it with ya'll

A temporary Vegas fix

For the past few months, I've been craving a trip to Las Vegas! It's been about a year since I last got to visit, when Catherine and I went last fall and stayed at Mandalay Bay. Catherine and Luke went in May of this year and stayed at Caesar's Palace...but if you remember, during that time I was still recovering from the broken ankle, so I didn't get to go. I've been trying to twist the arms of all my family members and get a trip together for the NFR, but I have no takers as of yet.

So....last night I got a quick fix of I guess as close to Las Vegas as I'm going to get for the time being...all with a trip to COLLEGE STATION.

I bet your probably wondering, what in the world does Aggieland, probably one of the most conservative places on the face of the earth, have to do with Sin City. Well last night, we went to a play at A&M's MSC Opas series called Tuna Does Vegas!

I started going to the MSC Opas' several years ago when I was a student at A&M. For a Christmas bonus, my boss, Dr. Larry Boleman and his wife Pat took me to the Nutcracker play being performed there. This was my first taste of the "sophisticated life" and I absolutely loved it. Even though at the time I didn't realize that the Nutcracker play had no actual words :)

A few years later, when I was working at A&M, me and Catherine took our parents to see The Music Man there, and again, it was so good!! So ever since then we try to go at least once a year to a play there if we can.

So this year's Opas season kicked off this week and the first play was from the famous "Tuna" series...Tuna Does Vegas. The "group" of Tuna-goers included me, Mom, Catherine, Luke, and our other most sophisticated friend, Paul Maulsby. Paul and I had went to see "Red White and Tuna" a few years ago and so we were totally pumped to hear that another Tuna play was coming back. Little known fact is that Paul is quite the "show go-er" and that when he was a youngster he was actually IN the "Texas" play that is in Palo Duro Canyon. Now that's pretty famous! Next thing we know he'll be singing Barbara Streisand at Catherine and Luke's wedding.

If you haven't heard of this play, it's a hilarious play about a small Texas town (Tuna, Texas) which is a fake town somewhere around the panhandle of Texas. The coolest thing about it is that the entire play has about 20 different characters....but they are all played by TWO MEN. The men dress up in all these different costumes and play all the different characters...both men and women. It's unbelievable how "real" they look in all the different costumes and how funny they are.

Throughout the whole play, every time a new character would come out we could instantly identify someone in our own little town who could be that person! Except as Paul pointed out...you never really picture YOURSELF as one of the crazy townspeople in the play...but you know you probably are!!

We were all laughing hysterically throughout the whole play, both at the crazy quirks of the Texas small town, but also the way we all have acted in Vegas. So now as I'm sitting here about 24 hours after the show, I loved the night....but now I just want to go to Vegas even more!!! Now, if I can just talk my family into going....it might just be a case of "Boling Does Vegas!" Until then, I guess I'll have to settle for my weekly visits to The Mirage and Caesar's web sites....and try to get my favorite Vegas expert and hi-rollin' granny Trish Collins to help me try to talk my parents into going!!

Take Over!

I'm sure you've figured out by now that here at RHD we are reality TV buffs.


Our newest favorite reality TV show is Tabatha's Salon Takeover, which airs on my personal favorite reality network, Bravo, home of Project Runway, Top Design, Top Chef, and Shear Genius. We first fell in love with Tabitha when she was our favorite contestant on Shear Genius season 1. We were angry when she didn't win, because we'd become fans of her British snobbery. I loved watching her fight with Theodore, and I wished that I was cool enough to pull off her hair cut and bleached color. When she was eliminated from Shear Genius, I thought that would be the last time we'd see her grace our television screens.

I was pleasantly surprised to see her return to Shear Genius season 2 as a guest judge. Turns out she was promoting her new TV show, Tabatha's Salon Takeover, which would be airing in Shear Genius' time spot after their season finale. Well, of course, I set my DVR to record the show, and I am hooked.

Basically, the concept of the show is that Tabatha (very assertive, tough, takes-no-mess) comes into a struggling hair salon (usually dirty, broke, and being led by someone with some problems) and "takes-over," and solves their problems. She remodels the salon, trains the management and stylists, and does it all in the most entertainingly (is that a word?) bossy way ever. Rachel and I were discussing how much we love watching Tabatha take over these salons, and how we can think of some different scenarios for our own versions of this show.



How about...

• Luann's Ranch Takeover — The premise of this show would be our Mom coming into a struggling ranch and taking over. Let's face it, any one who knows my Mom knows that she could handle it! She's got Tabitha's gift of "telling it like it is," and I know she could put people in their place.
• Catherine's Web Site Takeover — I'd love to take over. First thing I'd do is get rid of any and all usage of Comic Sans. Blinking text? Flashing text? Not on my sites. I also don't want to hear any music on your site, because I don't want to go to your site and be left wondering who "the wind beneath your wings" is. I'd make sure everyone's site was kept updated regularly (I'd bring along my sidekick from RHD, Jessica), photos are fast loading, and information is displayed in an organized manner. Search engine friendly. The works. I personally think this would be a hit show.
• Rachel's Ad Takeover — I'd sure find this entertaining. She'd also get rid of Comic Sans, and she'd have her trusty sidekick Catherine (the Fontster) to check all things fonts. Low res pics? No way. Underlined hyperlinks? Not in her ads. 20,000 different fonts? Nope. No typos, always 10 days ahead of a deadline, and approved on the first proof.
• Blake's Judging Takeover — I'm sure he'd have his sidekick Mary with him. Tons of Grand Champion Slaps. He'd have the announcer from Louisville travelling with him introducing him and saying, "Go head, judge."
• Paul's Wardrobe Takeover — I can only imagine. The stock show connoisseur would make sure everyone had on their matching black belt/black boots/black hat combos. Flat front khakis, and the right hat for the season (felt for winter/fall, straw for summer/spring.) He would advise that when appropriate, alter your outfit for the event. Example, dress sporty for football games. Dress funky when attending events where most people will be age 20 & under. Dress like a fitter and spray black paint on your knees and face when attending a prospect show. This might be my favorite show.

I could give you more info, but then I'd be giving out the RHD/V8 trade secrets. I guess you'll just have to wait to tune in.

Catherine's Favorite Artist

Catherine is so excited this week because her favorite country music singer, Chris Knight, just came out with a new CD. NOT!!!!! Well, let me clarify, yes, Chris Knight DID come out with a new CD, but Catherine is NOT excited.

A couple of years ago when I lived in College Station, my good friend and music junkie, Tonya Amen, invited me to an acousting concert at Bourbon Street for this singer I had never heard of, Chris Knight. She informed me that he was a little "dark" but I didn't have anything to do that night, and hanging out with Tonya is always fun, so I decided to go. When we got to the concert, the place was kinda empty so we got a front row table center stage.

As he started to play, I was immediately mesmerized by his unique sound and style. If I had to describe his music for those who have never heard it, I'd say it's a mix of John Cougar Mellencamp crossed with Johnny Cash. Kinda southern rock but country too. To me, his lyrics and voice are something that just cuts right to your heart. His songs kinda revolve around these dark, sad themes but for some reason I just can't turn it off! Typical themes of his music include life in small town America, and lots of themes that revolve around the rural lifestyle. He's got songs that involve things like losing your family farm, your wife leaving you when you go bankrupt, and how boring it is in small towns on the weekends. And, of course he has lots of songs about loving someone who doesn't love you, bad family relationships, and hating your job.

Now, don't worry, I'm not depressed or anything. I know several other big time Chris Knight fans, and we're all relatively normal!

At our office, we rotate music choices between my iTunes on one day, then Catherine's on the next. Unfortunately, I don't have as much music on my computer as Catherine, so when it's my day, my songs repeat a lot more frequently than hers. And considering Chris Knight is the #1 artist in my library (58 songs), his stuff tends to play on about every 3rd song or so. I don't seem to mind, but every time Catherine just groans and asks -- is that Chris Knight again????

So to Catherine's excitement, he came out with a new CD last week and of course I instantly downloaded it. Heart of Stone is the CD and I love it. My favorite songs are the title track, Heart of Stone, and Something to Keep Me Going. I've been trying to keep the playtime to a minimum when Cat is here in the office, because I know she doesn't like it, but as soon as she leaves I start playing it again ha ha!

If you're interested in getting some of his music, here are my top songs by him. It kinda depends what mood you're in, but here are some good ones:

• Oil Patch Town
• Love and a 45
• Dirt
• Cry Lonely (he sang it before CCR did)
• House and 90 Acres
• Becky's Bible
• It Ain't Easy Being Me
• Me and This Road
• Rural Route

Anyway, so that is our music update for this week. Warning to those who might be new Chris Knight listeners, maybe after you listen to some of his songs you might want to balance it out with some no brainer music like Britney Spears or something. ha ha

it's HAMmer time

For some strange reason when I get threatened by a Hurricane, I feel the need to cook a HAM.

I went to Walmart early this morning and things were flying off the shelves. I wanted to pick up some non perishable food as well as gas cans. They were already out of gas cans. I did pick up gas cans at the auto parts store. I picked up my HAM and will cook it tomorrow. Having the HAM cooked makes me feel like I can feed my family for a few day. The ham is one of those fully cooked hams, so I think I can safely leave it out if we loose power.

The hammer time will come tomorrow. If the storm continues to target Matagorda, I will board up Catherine's house. I'm not boarding my house because I kinda would like new windows (LOL). It's not fun hammering when it is 100 degrees outside. I don't do sweat!!!

Catherine has purchased a sedative for Dixie the cat and honestly, the cat will be fine - it's Catherine that will need the sedative. Catherine and Anne McCain feed off of each other's hysteria. Everyone other word is "oh $%$ we're gunna die!!!

Our friends have already called and offered assistance in case we have to evacuate the cattle. We will take the show cattle and the cows to Madisonville - Windy Hills Ranch.

We have about 200 acres of hay down and we are working hard to get it rolled up. It will probably blow all around if Ike comes in at Matagorda.

When you are watching the weather reports about the storm - look for me -- I'll be the one on my roof holding the sign that says "WHERE'S FEMA".... j/k

I'm not evacuating.

I Like Ike --- NOT!!!

It's a hard feeling to describe...we're nervous and a little scared, but mostly feeling UNCERTAIN here at RHD due to the storm that's brewing in the Gulf of Mexico....Hurricane Ike.

We've been spending most of the past few days checking weather.com every hour or so, only to keep seeing the same old graphic that shows the projected path of the entire Texas Gulf Coast. For those of you who aren't familiar with the large coastline of Texas, we are located about 45 miles inland. Our nearest point of reference for all the hurricane trackers is Matagorda Bay, which is also about 30-40 miles away from us. Matagorda Bay is located between Galveston and Corpus Christi.



When faced with Hurricane Rita a few years ago, everyone transitioned into major hurricane mode. I personally was still living in College Station during this time so I didn't have to participate in all the pre-evacuation activities on the ranch. So thus I have been classified by my family and friends as a "first timer" with this hurricane because I was not here during Rita. So when I decided I needed to go stock up on supplies last night, this resulted in several eyes rolling and the comment of "first timer" ha ha!

Even though I didn't participate in the Great Rita Evacuation...I do remember several panic-ing phone calls from our resident "we're all going to die" hurricane planner -- Catherine Williams. If you remember anything from that hurricane, it involved the mass evacuation of everyone who then ended up getting stranded on the roads. My family actually made TWO evacuation attempts...the first was un-successful so they turned around. Then thanks to Dad's extreme knowledge of local "backroads" they were able to get out on the 2nd attempt and go to College Station and Madisonville. That event involved everything -- filling up bathtubs, boarding up windows, evacuating cattle, pets, and people on the ranch. About 12 hours before the storm was supposed to hit, it turned, and we were spared.



So here we are at T-minus 65 hours til landfall, and we're not sure what to do. We gassed up our cars last night and today, the local gas station is now completely sold out of gas. We've purchased bottled water. Tonight we're starting to freeze ziploc bags to have ice blocks ready. Our friend Anne McCain, who is Miss Organization, has reminded us to find all of our pertinant info like our birth certificates and insurance stuff and have that in a Rubbermaid container.

There's a lot of mixed emotion. Most of us here are prepared, but we feel like sitting ducks here waiting. We all keep checking hoping that there will be more of an exact path, in time enough for those in the path to get out if they need to, but so far we don't have it. All the "experts" on this A&M football fan web site of texags.com are speculating it'll come in right at Matagorda Bay. But, again, these people definitely are NOT any type of qualified weathermen.

Catherine says she's boarding up her windows today. Which because of mine and Catherine's location on the ranch "totem pole" (which is the absolute bottom) this means that this project will probably involve Catherine, Mom, and our 78-year old grandpa Johnston who handled the project last time. At least I'll be around this time to help. My mom has an absolutely "no window boarding policy" and my little bunkhouse probably won't get any either.

We think if worse comes to worse, we'll be able to sleep in my parents live-in trailer for a while if we had to. Great, can you imagine that? Mom, Dad, Catherine, Me, and our pets Sam, Hayfield (dogs) and Phil and Dixie (cats) all in the camper. Sounds great huh!!!

Like we said, right now there's so much uncertainty that we really don't have an idea of what is going on. We're trying to be prepared, but not over-reacting either. Because we can SO easily slip into the panic mode ha ha!

RHD Book Club

Oprah ain't got nothin' on us.

Somehow, the RHD office has created an unofficial book club. The funny thing is though, we don't really try to be diverse with our books. We don't try to read a mix of contemporary and classic authors, or mix genres like chick lit and suspense. Our book club centers around one single author: Jodi Picoult.

I should preface this by admitting that Rachel and I have always been a little bit on the bookworm side. When we were kids on car trips, we would always get to pack our own little bags with Barbies, cards, crayons, and coloring books to keep us entertained. But after a few trips with melted crayons in the car, we started bringing books on our trips and reading them to pass the time. It has always helped that we're both super fast readers.

I've always been a little behind the current cool book trends. Rachel on the other hand, even as a elementary school kid, has always been 'with it.' While I was still reading the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, Rach had moved on to The Baby-sitter's Club. When I finally, caught up with those, she was into Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield and Sweet Valley High. When I finally started reading about the SVH drama, she'd moved on to R.L. Stine's Fear Street series.

Well it has happened again. On any plane ride, I always visit the airport bookstore and pick up whatever mindless chick-lit fiction is available. My favorite authors of past have been Jennifer Weiner, Jane Green, and Sophie Kinsella. Well, probably about May, I was at an airport looking for my latest read, and I wanted something with a little more substance. I happened to pick up Plain Truth, by Jodi Picoult. The author's name sounded somewhat familiar to me, but I couldn't place it. Upon reading the back of the book, I found out that she is the author of both My Sister's Keeper and Nineteen Minutes, both of which were New York Times bestsellers. Well, I bought the book and could not put it down. This book happened to be centered around the Amish culture, which I found fascinating. On my plane ride back from wherever I had been, I picked up another Jodi book, Salem Falls. Same thing... I was hooked.

When I got back, I couldn't wait to tell Tricia and Rach about my new favorite author. Well, of course, Rachel was like, "Oh, I've read Plain Truth already." She beat me to it! Of course she did, though, because at this point she'd been laid up with that broken ankle for 2 months, so she'd been catching up on her reading. Well, during our aimless conversation at the office one day, we discovered Tricia is also a fan. She loved Nineteen Minutes.

For those of you who aren't familiar with her work, I would say these books are a combination of several genres. The main subject is usually something that has been in the news recently. For example, Nineteen Minutes is about a school shooting. There's always something law-related in it. Usually, a trial takes place, so there's courtroom drama. And of course, there's always a fair share of romance. But my favorite part of these books is that they always leave me thinking about what would each of us do when placed in similar difficult situations that her main characters are placed in.

Of her books, here's the ones that, between us here at the RHD office, we've read:

• Harvesting the Heart
• Nineteen Minutes
• Perfect Match
• Salem Falls
• Plain Truth
• The Pact
• The Tenth Circle
• My Sisters Keeper

There's a whole other part of this Jodi Picoult fascination that I haven't even gotten into yet, which is the the fact that a lot of her movies have been made into made-for-TV movies by, you guessed it, Lifetime TV. So, I really am looking forward to a lazy Saturday afternoon where I am flipping through the TV and stumble upon the familiar title of one of my favorite books.

So, next time you happen to be in your local Barnes & Noble, be sure and stumble over to the fiction area and look for all the Jodi Picoult books. After all, you can't go wrong... the RHD book club recommends it!

Brahman Tour Guides

Last night, I got a text from my cousin John Coleman Locke of J.D. Hudgins Ranch, who told me there was an Australian girl visiting them this week who wanted to come look at our Brahmans. For our loyal blog readers, you'll remember that earlier in May we had a big Australian tour at the ranch during the World Brahman Congress. This young lady was on that tour, and she had came back and wanted a little more in depth tour.

Normally, we are just thrilled to have visitors to the ranch! However, this time....I had a slight panic attack, because the only two able-bodies on the ranch right now are....me and Catherine....everyone else is out of town!!

So, I tell John, sure we can give the tour but to warn this poor victim that the tour is probably going to be pretty bad. Now don't get me wrong, we are definitely knowledgable and definitely capable of showing someone around...it's just that our dad has like 25,000 times more knowledge and is a much better guide.

Obviously we want to do our best and offer the best possible hospitalilty we can. Our plan is to pick her up at lunch and then tour around in the afternoon. So during the morning, we develop a game plan of what we'll show her, where we'll go, what we'll talk about, etc etc.

So we arrive at the Hudgins guest house at lunch and meet Lisa. Right away, we warn her that she's getting a 2nd rate tour because our dad is out of town. But she's so nice, and she says she doesn't mind at all-- so we head out. Guess where we take her for lunch....of course...LARRY's!!
So after a really fun lunch, where we discuss lots of girl talk stuff but hardly any cattle stuff, we head back to the ranch where our first stop is going to be my parents house.

While driving in we show her some of the donor cows and try to do our best. However, when we get to my parents house, we have a slight kink in the plans. We happened to notice a postcard ad on my mom's desk from a western furniture store in Houston that is advertising a 60% off Labor Day SALE!!! I decide to call and ask if the sale is still in progress. The lady at the store says yes it is, and they are "VERY" motivated to make deals, and if I bring cash they'll make even better deals. Being the western furniture junkie I am, this all sounds great to me!

Hmmmm....so I mention to Catherine that we should think about going. I was kinda thinking, w should go this weekend. But Lisa chimes in and says she'd like to go....now :) Catherine and I both glance at each other like -- wait....is it okay if we abandon the tour to go SHOPPING??? If we do this....will Dad kill us?? After a second to deliberate...we're like "Okay, sure....let's go!!"

So, we do still attempt to give somewhat of a tour and then head into Houston. We were having the best time and laughing so much on the trip that seriously, all three of us nearly wet our pants!!!

When we arrive at the store, which is about an hour away, the store is CLOSED. Um....what?? I just talked to the store owner like an hour ago and she told me to come in and bring cash. So, this is really weird. We call the number over and over again, and do a lot of window shopping, but basically made a wasted trip b/c the store is all locked up. Extremely disappointed, we head back home...and en route we decide we should just stop off at the mall for a bit. This is at approximately 3:30 p.m.

TWO HOURS LATER....we leave the mall, after spending TWO WHOLE HOURS goofing off at the Chanel makeup counter. Catherine is BFF's with all the ladies who work there, and the store was slow, so first off they gave Lisa a complete makeover. Lisa gets a few items, then we decide that I should also get a makeover, and that makeover should specifically be a "going out look." Catherine, the makeup director, chooses a very trendy "smoky eye" combination of blacks and shiny silver eyeshadows so I get that done. I also decide to buy some of this eye shadow.
At this time, another Chanel makeup artist comes in to work and thinks Catherine's makeup is so great that she asks Cat which one of the artists did it. Ha ha -- Catherine actually did it herself...she's just that good!

Anyway, when we finally make it back to Hungerford...it's been a completely wonderful afternoon of girl talk, shopping, makeovers, and lots and lots of fun! We were so sad that Lisa has to leave tomorrow, because we had such a great time. We did make a promise though that whenever John Locke or Bob Hudgins or Jim Williams asks her how the tour at V8 was, that she will say something like "Oh it was great, I really learned so many new things."

She just doesn't have to say the new thing was how to apply makeup to achieve that perfect smoky eye look :)